Holiday Humour

Q: “Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?”

A: “Because he went down in History.”

Q: How can you tell a family doesn’t celebrate Christmas?

A: The lights are on, but nobody’s a gnome.

Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?

A: Because the present’s beneath them.

Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

A: Saint Nickel-less.

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

A: It needed to be trimmed.

Q: How does Santa keep his bathroom tiles immaculate?

A: He uses Comet.

Q: Why does St. Nick like the Temptations’ version of Silent Night best?

A: Because Santa Was A Rolling Stone.

Q: Did you hear that Santa knows karate?

A: He has a black belt.

Q: What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?

A: Crisp Kringle.

Q: What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa Claus when she looked up in the sky?

A: Looks like rain, dear!

Q: What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?

A: Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q: What's the most popular Christmas wine?

A: 'But I don't like Brussels sprouts!'

Q: Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?

A: They always drop their needles!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS From everyone at Engagement Unlimited!!!!!